


In The Shade

by write_away



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, F/F, Friendship, Gen, Humor, I have taken Good Omens and made it explicitly Jewish wherever I can, Jewish Character, Jewish Good Omens (Good Omens), Lilith and Crowley experience history together, M/M, Sheyd!Crowley, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-13 09:25:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19248370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/write_away/pseuds/write_away
Summary: At the beginning, there was an angel and a demon and a man and a wife and a Garden and a gate and a flaming sword and an apple and either a terrible, terrible mistake or an absolutely wonderful one.According to the stories, at least.This is partially true. While, yes, there was eventually an angel and a demon and a man and a wife and a Garden and a gate and a flaming sword and an apple and a mistake, before that there was only a demon and a man and a wife and a Garden and a gate because the apple had not yet been placed in the tree and the angel had not yet been sent down with a flaming sword to guard it, and no mistakes had been made in the very short history of humankind.Crowley and Lilith have been friends since the Beginning. TherealBeginning, that is. Everything after that? Well, they're demons. Friendship isn't exactly smooth sailing.





	1. Made in the Sheyd

**Author's Note:**

> I am Weak and I have been fascinated with the Jewish folklore surrounding Lilith since I was a small child being Bat Mitzvahed and realized that Genesis describes man and woman being made both from Earth and THEN LATER woman being made from Adam's rib, and was then further amused when I learned more about her. 
> 
> Anyway, this will likely be a collection of interrelated oneshots. If you're concerned about Lil not being fiery enough right now, just Wait. 
> 
> Credit goes to tikkunhayam on Tumblr who is a TERRIBLE enabler.
> 
> As of 8/10/2019, I have gone back and edited pronouns for both Beezlebub and Dagon. I also have changed the nickname "BeeBee" to "ZeeBee" to reflect the Hebrew spelling of Beezlebub (Ba'al Zebub) because it's cute.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Beginning is not what you think it is. Adam's wife is unsatisfied and Crawly, ever the opportunist, makes a new friend.

At the beginning, there was an angel and a demon and a man and a wife and a Garden and a gate and a flaming sword and an apple and either a terrible, terrible mistake or an absolutely wonderful one.

According to the stories, at least.

This is partially true. While, yes, there was  _ eventually  _ an angel and a demon and a man and a wife and a Garden and a gate and a flaming sword and an apple and a mistake, before that there was only a demon and a man and a wife and a Garden and a gate because the apple had not yet been placed in the tree and the angel had not yet been sent down with a flaming sword to guard it, and no mistakes had been made in the very short history of humankind.

The demon was named Crawly because he was a snake and that’s sort of what snakes did back then, and the husband was named Adam because he was made from the Earth and that’s what “Adam” meant, and the wife was named -  _ no _ , not Eve, have you not been reading carefully? This is  _ before  _ her.

The wife was named Lilith and the meaning for her name must come later because the Almighty didn’t bother with inventing that until it became necessary, as is often the case with this particular girl. 

“Crawly,” she called out into the Garden as the first stars twinkled through the canopy of trees. While she loved her husband - she assumed she did, because that was what she was meant to do wasn’t it? She was made from the Earth like him, though she hadn’t the privilege of having been named for it - the snake was a more interesting companion when night fell and Adam slept. “Crawly, come out here, would you?”

Crawly was in his human form that night, lounging on a low branch. She rather liked his human form. Adam was all good and fine, but she felt there were far more possibilities with the human body than God had figured out yet. Lilith sometimes felt like Adam had been a bad brainstorm session. 

“Yes, darling?” he asked through a wide yawn, flashing his fangs. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Lilith shrugged and sat down among the brush. “Adam is asleep. So’re the babies. I felt… I don’t have a word for it.” The word she was looking for was “restless.” It also had not been invented yet. 

Crawly hummed. “And you’re not continuing to populate the human race because…”

“You’re awful, you know,” she muttered and picked at the grass. 

He winked. “Just my job,” he said with a laugh. “Already tired of him, then?”

It wasn’t that Lilith was  _ tired  _ of Adam. It was that she’d never been truly awake with him in the first place. He was kind and he was gentle and he was  _ Good _ but -

“You know the Almighty,” she said instead of answering Crawly’s question. She vaguely knew that demons were once angels and angels were one with God.

The demon made a noise that stuck in his throat. “Ehh… in a fashion, darling, I suppose I know Her.”

Lilith nodded. “And what does She say of me?”

Crawly coughed and sat up, brushing leaves from his hair. “What did She tell  _ you? _ ”

“Not much,” Lilith admitted. 

Crawly would have muttered “welcome to the club” but clubs didn’t exist yet. Only four humans existed in the entire world.

“So what’s your issue?” he asked, yawning again. He didn’t exactly  _ need  _ sleep, but with only four people to tempt - two of which were not yet walking and talking - he was on standby until further notice. His job was espionage, which was just a fancy way of telling him to stay out of the way of the Important Demons who  _ meant  _ to Fall. “Because, darling, if you take much longer, little Dagon and Beezlebub’re going to need feeding and I’m not sure Adam dearest has the parts.” He paused. “Well, maybe he does. Not quite clear on human anatomy yet, to be honest.”

Lilith hesitated. Was it a good idea to tell this to a demon? And yet, if anyone could understand, it would  _ be  _ a being like him. “He’s just very  _ boring  _ during sex,” she admitted. “You ought to tempt him a bit, teach him some new moves.”

The demon went red. “ _ Me? _ ” he choked.

“Well, yes, you’re a demon. Surely you have experience.” She ignored the way he turned even brighter. “Anyway, maybe you can just give him pointers. It’s  _ always  _ the same position and I’m so  _ bored _ of laying there while he gets to have all the fun and he keeps telling me it’s how the Almighty created us, but I think he’s got it wrong because She made us both from Earth, didn’t She?” Lilith could feel her face flushing with frustration. “Why won’t he  _ listen  _ to me?”

“Hey, hey,” Crawly said, his voice suddenly soft. The tree rustled as he swung himself down and laid a hand on her bare shoulder. “Hang on, Lilith. You’ve got to be careful with that type of thinking.”

“Why?” she demanded. “The Almighty meant for Adam and I to be equal, and I ought to remind him of that.”

He made another noise from his throat that could only be described as grinding gears if gears had been created. “It’s just - well - Lil, the Almighty doesn’t  _ love  _ questions. Especially like that.”

Lilith felt a flare of an unfamiliar emotion.  _ Anger _ , her mind supplied. “The Almighty loves us all. That’s Her  _ job _ ,” Lilith said. “And  _ your  _ job is to stop me from loving Her. I don’t know why I even came out here!” She got to her feet and brushed the uncomfortable bits of dirt that clung to her skin onto Crawly. “I’m going to wake up Adam and we’re going to have  _ fantastic  _ sex, Crawly -”

“I  _ really  _ didn’t need to hear that."

“- And the Almighty will be  _ proud  _ of us for being innovative humans made in Her image.”

Crawly sighed. “It’s your funeral, I guess. Do you need me to watch the kids?”

* * *

The story goes like this:

Crawly did not watch the kids, which he was later eternally grateful for because it was hard enough to look his bosses in the eye some days without having changed their diapers once. Also, Lilith’s venture did not last very long at all. 

Lilith stormed out of the hut almost as quickly as she had stormed into it, her babies snugly held in her arms as they wailed and she screamed and Adam hung his head, shaking it slightly but looking more annoyed than upset that he couldn’t seem to keep his wife when he was the literal only option in the world.

Crawly and Lilith fought while the babies screamed in awful dissonant harmony until Crawly led her to the gate where there were no guards yet, because no mistake had been made yet and there was no need for them, and because he was getting a headache and really wanted her to get out so he could nap again. 

(This, it seemed, was going to be the first Mistake in the history of the world. Lilith would forever maintain she had made the right decision and therefore it couldn’t be a mistake. The demon was always reminded of the word “ineffable” when she said that, so he doubled down on calling it a mistake just to annoy her).

Lilith ran into the night with her children and without a backward glance. Angels chased her. Crawly did not.

Lilith refused to return. Adam wept, alone for the first time in human existence, and Crawly’s heart almost went out to him except it was really his own fault in the end, and he was so grateful to not be the only demon on Earth anymore that he was willing to watch the man suffer just a little.

The Almighty wiped the slate clean - well, almost clean, really, because She let Lilith live and roam and rule as a demon and that wasn’t quite the same thing as just removing her from the Official Story though it might as well have been for a few centuries - and She started again, with the man made from Earth and a woman made from his rib this time. She added a tree and some fruit, because  _ something  _ had to keep these humans busy, and she sent an angel with a flaming sword to guard it because  _ something  _ had to keep this demon busy, and this would have to do for now.

At the beginning, there was an angel and a demon and a man and a wife and a Garden and a gate and a flaming sword and an apple and either a terrible, terrible mistake or an absolutely wonderful one. The demon was named Crawly because he was a snake and that’s sort of what snakes did back then, and the husband was named Adam because he was made from the Earth and that’s what “Adam” meant, and the wife was named Eve, and well, you know how  _ this  _ one goes already. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **General Notes:**  
>  *A sheyd (pronounced "shade") is a Jewish demon, so the title of the fic and of this chapter is a fun little nod to that. 
> 
> *Some things you may want to know about Lilith: She was punished for telling Adam she wanted to top and then fleeing the Garden when told no, she's the mother of demons (there are some variations on whether or not these children were had WITH Adam or not, so I'm going with a mix), and superstition says she kills/steals babies. She also is somewhat of a sex symbol and is often referred to as an inspiration for the succubus. Feminist circles have reclaimed her in the last few decades as a figure of female empowerment and I Love Her.


	2. On the Eve of Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith discovers women. Crawly discovers wine. These things are not unrelated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I believed in Hell, I'd possibly be going to it for this chapter alone. Is it sacrilegious to ship Eve with Lilith? I don't know. I'm going to have a busy Yom Kippur this year.
> 
> Enjoy!

“I know I’m not supposed to say this,” Lilith said as she threw herself into the brush beside Crawly, her long skirt dusty and askew on her hips, her blouse pulled down just enough so he could see the marks sucked into the smooth skin on her neck.

He groaned and tried to sink further into the leaves. He’d been having a _very_ comfortable nap. “Then _don’t,_ ” he suggested. “ _Please_.” He covered his face with his hands in the hopes that maybe she’d get distracted by the shiny bits of metal he’d dubbed _jewelry_ that he’d decorated them with.

She soldiered on anyway. “ _But_ I’m beginning to think the Almighty has fucked up this whole human woman thing.”

Crawly peeked at her through his fingers. “You don’t actually believe that, Lil.”

“Well.” She bit her lip, considering. “No. The Lord really nailed it, actually. The men need work, I’d say, but the _girls_. You _sure_ you like that shape?”

He rather _was_ sure - he liked this one, though Lil knew he’d played around with a few others over the years. That being said, he considered using his demonic powers to let the ground swallow him up. Or maybe swallow her up.

He was still deciding when he tried to change the subject. “Did you hear they’re fermenting fruit now? Amazing stuff. Makes you feel real woozy.” He’d tried a glass when visiting Eve to give her a break after her latest pregnancy, and then he’d had another, and then they’d gotten to talking, and then - well.

Eve had obviously taken his advice. Unfortunately.

“Anyway,” she said, ignoring him. “That girl, Eve? I know she’s sort of a cheap knock-off of me, but - ” She whistled low. “Thanks for hooking us up.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Crawly muttered.

Lilith grinned wicked. “ _Exactly._ ”

Crawly sunk an inch into the bush to hide his blush. He’d had a wonderfully damned decade without having to hear about Lilith’s sex exploits and he’d just managed to muck it up for himself. “Lilith,” he said carefully. “You do realize this isn’t going to work out in your favor, right?”

She took him by the wrist and pulled him out of the leaves. “ _Obviously_ ,” she said and met his gaze. He could almost forget that she was a demon until he saw his yellow slits reflected in her dark eyes, the whole of them the color of the sky before he had added the stars. “But when has anything gone in my favor?”

She had a point. Crawly sighed and wrenched his arm from her grasp. “Just don’t get too attached,” he advised. “How are the twins?”

“Fine. I’ve been keeping them Downstairs for the time being, until they’re grown.” She stretched and adjusted her blouse, though she made sure to keep the marks visible. Crawly averted his eyes. “Oh, don’t be scared, it’s just a love bite.”

“Where did Eve even _learn_ that?” he demanded. “It wasn’t from your ex-husband, I’m sure.”

Lilith cackled. “Jealous much? I could teach you, too, my dear little serpent.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Crawly leaned away so quickly that he fell out of the bush and into a pile of rocks that he was certain had not been there a second before. “ _Absolutely not_ ,” he said but that only made her laugh harder. He pulled himself to his feet and brushed his robes off. “You know that you’re meant to be tempting _humans_ , not _me._ ”

“But the humans are like _eight_ ,” she pointed out with a pout. “Eve’s the only _fun_ one and you’ve just told me to stop.”

“And there are ways to tempt without using _sex_ ,” he countered.

Lilith snorted. “Eating fruit doesn’t count. Didn’t you hear? That’s a _good_ thing now.” She stood with far more grace than Crawly had managed to achieve as of yet, and he wondered again if maybe she was right about the Almighty needing to do some work on the male form. “I would’ve thought your angel told you about that,” she teased.

“Shut up,” Crawly muttered, blushing again.

“What was his name again?” she wondered aloud. “Azrael? Azazel? Asmodeus?”

“ _Aziraphale,_ ” Crawly hissed.

She snapped, grinning widely and wickedly and _oh_ how he hated her sometimes. “Yes! Aziraphale!” she exclaimed. “How is he doing these days? Still got that, _ahem_ , sword?”

Crawly turned on his heel and made toward the woods. He was going to find a nice, dark hole in a tree somewhere, turn into a snake, and sleep there until enough humans had been born for Lilith to find someone _else_ to annoy, or, Satan save him, until he figured out how to murder a demoness.

Unfortunately, she could keep up. “I take that as a no? That’s a shame, I’d have liked to see it,” she said, clearly amused with herself. She was the only one ever amused by herself, because Crawly rarely was and it wasn’t like they had much other company in those days.  

Well. He supposed Eve was probably at least a little amused.

“Seen him lately?” she asked.

“No,” Crawly said.

“Are you going to see him?”

“I don’t know!”

Lilith hummed. “Can _I_ see him?”

Crawly stopped short in his track his blood going cold. “ _No_ ,” he said emphatically. “You _may not_ see Aziraphale. _Ever._ For _eternity._ ” He shuddered, imagining how she’d quite literally muddy those pure, white feathers. “ _Ever_ ,” he repeated for emphasis.

“If you say so,” she said and shrugged. “I was just thinking -”

“Please stop doing that, Lilith. It isn’t a good look on you.”

“- if you don’t want _me_ to teach you about love bites, he probably could. I bet angels get up to all _sorts_ of fun stuff in Heaven.” She paused and laughed upon seeing Crawly’s face. “Okay, maybe not, but your _job_ is to tempt, so might as well get some practice in.”

“I’m not tempting Aziraphale to -” Crawly spluttered, “ - give me _love bites._ He’s too -” Crawly cut himself off and pulled himself into the nearest tree.

“Too what?” Lilith demanded from the ground as he slid himself higher and higher. “You coward! He’s too _what_?”

“ _Nggg_ ,” Crawly said and transformed.

Lilith rolled her eyes. “Sure, be a limp noodle!” she yelled. “You’re no fun.”

Crawly hissed and bared his fangs.

“If you’re going to stay a snake,” she called up, “I’m taking your new robes! I think Eve will like me in red!”

* * *

Lilith _did_ borrow his red robes, and Eve _did_ like her in them, and Eve _especially_ liked her out of them, and Adam absolutely hated all of it. Crawly considered making him some more of that fermented fruit in sympathy, but he wound up taking all of it for himself when Eve broke Lilith’s heart and he had to do repairs.

“Have you learned your le _sssss_ on now?” he asked as they sprawled themselves under the stars the night that Eve sent her away, tears in her eyes and Adam standing in the corner with his arms crossed over his chest. “ _Ssstop_ it with the human _ssss_.”

“Fuck you,” Lilith mumbled. Her lips were stained purple and her black eyes were glazed over with drink. “This tastes like shit, Crawly.”

“But it feel _ssss_ _sssssooooo_ good,” he said, which was a minor lie, but he’d get over it. He was a demon. So was she.

“Stop it with the humans,” she echoed. “I _was_ human.”

“ _Barely,_ ” Crawly said. “For like. A day.”

Lilith pinched him in the ribs and ignored his cry of pain. “More like almost two years, dumbass.” She sighed. “And _you_ were an angel.”

“Barely _,”_ he said again and stared at the stars. “For like. A day.”

Lilith finished her skin of drink and reached for Crawly’s. “When - when I was still - _human_ , you said you made some of these.” She gestured widely at the sky. “Whassit true?”

Crawly didn’t answer. “That one,” he said and pointed at a little speck in the sky. “I did that one.”

She hmmed. “‘S pretty.”

“Thank _sss_.”

“Never got to make anything pretty before I became a demon.”

Crawly nudged her with his shoulder. “You’re pretty pretty yourself.”

They drank until the last drop was dry and Lilith had cried herself out and the sun was beginning to slowly rise over the horizon.

“That you, too?” Lilith asked.

“Nope.”

“Huh.” She sighed. “ _Fuck_ Adam. It’s all his fucking fault.”

“Ehhh,” Crawly said.

Lilith suddenly turned and took Crawly’s hand in hers. “Listen. ‘M not gonna promise no more humans.”

“Bad idea,” he said and extricated his arm to shield his eyes from the sun. “You _know_ it’ _ssss_ a bad idea, darling.”

“But I’m gonna make it my fucking - my fucking _legacy_ .” Lilith’s eyes reflected the dawn’s gleam. “You have the stars, Crawly. I want the fucking _world_ and Hell and humans.”

Crawly didn’t know how to respond. He’d never heard of anything like this before. “Greed,” he finally said, hours later after the drink had left his system and left him just slightly fuzzy on the inside. “Gluttony. Lust. Sounds like stuff the Almighty might even make sins if you do ‘em well enough.”

Lilith settled back, a smile on her lips. “Then it’s a plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **General Notes:**  
>  *How much repentance do I have to do this Yom Kippur? Weigh in your guess in the comments.
> 
> *This fic has gotten... a lot sadder than I planned for it to get. Some more humans need to get in this world so our buddies can get up to Shenanigans. 
> 
> *I keep thinking about Crowley helping create the stars and HaShem telling Abraham that his descendants will be as numerous as the stars in the sky? So I'm pretty emotional about that so it'll probably get at least a mention.


	3. The Fair, the Fool, and the Flood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Lilith stand on different sides of an issue. The Flood comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) This one's a doozy, folks. Prepare yourself for angst. I'm actually going to add angst to the tags because of this chapter alone. Sorry not sorry. Hard not to get dark when you're writing about the Biblical Flood that killed off all of humanity. That being said **minor warning for non-graphic references to drowning**  
>  2) Doctor Who fans, I'm _sorry,_ the line slipped out and it _fit,_ so it had to stay. I'm really sorry for the additional layer of pain I'm about to give you.  
> 3) Enjoy!

He sensed her before he saw her.

Lilith and he had been - well, acquaintances was a bit cold of a word, but demons didn’t really  _ do  _ friends. Still, Crowley knew he was an exception. He never fit in Downstairs, after all. He supposed he had two friends, then: Lil and the angel.

At this point in history, he saw Lilith far more frequently. He could know her by scent alone, or by the way her footsteps fell as she strolled across the dirt, her hips swaying and tempting every human with a sex drive within a three meter radius. 

This time, he knew her by the sound of her soft, reluctant sigh. She’d been sent to fetch him, no doubt. He’d stalled long enough on Earth. 

“I don’t want to go,” he murmured, staring out at the cloudy sky. There was no moon. There were no stars. There were no people, all of the poor fuckers having gone to hide in their homes to wait for the storm to pass.

The storm wouldn’t pass until they were dead, every single one of them, even the little children. 

“It’s just for a little while,” Lilith said softly, her hand gently resting on the small of his back. “I’ll get Dagon to set up a nice place for you back home. She and ZeeBee have both been promoted, you know.”

“Mazel tov,” Crowley mumbled. He shivered as droplets began to fall. "You must be so proud."

Lilith sighed. “Come, now. We’ll be back soon. So will the stars.” She took his wrist and tugged him away from the edge of the desert. 

Crowley knew he should go with her. He knew he should follow, knew he should take advantage of the kind offer she had just made. He knew he shouldn’t care, except he  _ did _ , and how was it fair that this world had to be destroyed for something new and beautiful to be made? Fuck Aziraphale’s “rainbow,”  _ fuck  _ the ineffable plan.

He couldn’t put the words together. “Aziraphale,” he said with a sigh instead.

Lilith sighed, too, and curled her fingers around his wrist. “He’ll be okay, Crowley. He probably went home.”

Crowley tugged himself free, shaking his head. “No, that’s not - I don’t  _ care  _ where he is right now. He’s letting  _ kids  _ die, Lil. He said this is punishment from the Almighty. She’s starting over and he’s completely all right with it!” He scoffed. “Didn’t think the  _ ineffable  _ plan had room for  _ redos.  _ Didn’t think the Almighty could fuck up. Would almost be refreshing if it wasn’t so depressing, too!” His words echoed in the emptiness.

They stood and watched the sand become wet as Crowley’s rage fizzled out.

“She redid me,” Lilith said finally, her voice smaller than he’d heard in centuries. “So I guess that was  _ refreshing _ for you?”

Crowley spun to face her. “ _ Oh _ . Oh, Lil, I’m sorry, I didn’t -”

“You did,” Lilith said with a nod, her eyes steely. 

Crowley worked his jaw for a moment. “I did,” he confessed. He wiped a stream of rain out of his face. “Eve had nothing on you, darling. Think this whole mess could’ve been avoided if you’d stayed in Eden.”

“I was  _ not  _ going to stay in Eden. Not with  _ him _ ,” she said. “And you shut your fucking mouth about Eve.”

Crowley winced. “Still a sore spot, eh?”

“I  _ said  _ to shut your fucking mouth.”

Crowley occasionally knew what was best for him. He obeyed. 

The rain started pounding harder, heavier,  _ hotter _ , as if it had been boiled in the Heavens. He heard shouts from the nearby village as it puddled around his ankles, no doubt the humans reacting to water rushing through their lackluster doors, scalding their feet, the water already high enough to drown an infant.

Still, Crowley did not move. He couldn’t.

“Was this our fault?” he asked as the screams got louder, as sobs began to blend in with the roaring of the storm. “Did we tempt them too much?”

“Are you feeling guilty?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Not sure demons are supposed to do that.”

“Well.” Crowley thought it over. “The angels don’t feel bad about this. So I’m thinking maybe we should.”

“You think too much.” Lilith worried at her bottom lip for a moment, an old habit from when she was human. “They did this to themselves, I think. A handful of women sleeping with a demon is not going to  _ end _ humanity.” She shook the water out of her eyes. “That’s enough philosophy for the century. Let’s go.”

“But -“

“Crowley,  _ enough _ .”

“But if they did this to themselves,” and now Crowley was speaking over thunder, “why bother keeping us around?”

She took him by the collar and dragged him through the slush, through the waves that crashed into their knees and burned their human forms. “We need to get home.”

Crowley ripped himself free, letting the fabric fall apart in her hand. He felt vaguely frantic, a panic rising up in him. “What if the Almighty means for us drown, too? What if there’s no need for us anymore either? Just like there’s no need for all of humanity!” He choked on water that splashed up into his mouth. 

Lilith did not comfort him. She wasn’t really the comforting sort - never had been, but especially not since Eve. “If the Almighty wanted you dead,” she pointed out, “you’d be dead. Not to mention -  _ fuck  _ the Almighty.”

“You can’t just  _ say _ that,” Crowley stammered out. 

“Whoops, look at that, just did.” Lilith punctuated this with a rude gesture toward the sky. “I’m with you, Crowley, the ineffable plan is cruel and stupid and unfair, but we’re  _ demons _ . Stop  _ caring  _ and just say fuck it!”

“So you’re just fine with letting these humans drown?” Crowley asked. The shouts had become less frequent. Maybe they had found higher ground. He  _ hoped _ they had found higher ground. “It’s not fair, Lilith. You were human once!”

“And if I were still human, I’d have been long dead anyway.” She flung her wet hair over her shoulder, anger rising in every word. Her eyes held nothing but contempt for him, and he could only watch in horror as it built into rage. “They’ve  _ had _ this coming. They had their chance. I met my punishment,  _ they’re _ meeting their punishment, and you need to get over yourself, stop being foolish, and fucking face  _ yours _ !”

“Lilith -“

“For the love of all that is holy and demonic and human, whatever the hell you please, Crawly, will you please just  _ shut the fuck up!”  _ Lilith’s chest heaved as she caught her breath and Crowley found himself shrinking under her gaze, wanting to curl up underneath the waves and float away. 

Somehow, she was scarier when she was calm. “Quit acting like you’re so much better than the rest of us, Crowley. You were a shit angel and you’re an even worse demon. You want fair? Here’s fair - you had the chance to be great, the chance to have power. You were the original Tempter, you originated Sin. And what did you do?” Lilith threw her hands out to her sides. “ _ Nothing!  _ You buddied up with an angel and felt  _ sorry _ for all these fuckers on Earth! So now you’ve  _ got  _ nothing. Including me.” She spat toward him, but it was swept up in the waves. “Come home when you’re ready to be a proper demon. And  _ don’t _ expect any special treatment from me when you do.”

She turned on her heel and stalked away until the waves overtook her and she sank down into Hell. 

The shouting from the village had stopped entirely. 

For all the years Crowley had spent in existence, he’d never been quite this alone before. He waited until the waves completely overtook him before he settled into the mud and let the currents drag him home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **General Notes:** So yeah. That happened. Poor Crowley. I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter! Thanks for reading!
> 
> Alternative title for this chapter: Crowley, shut the fuck up!


	4. The Job Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley goes to Hell for a reprimand. Lilith is waiting for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! With the Book of Job! Man, I really hate the Book of Job. Consider this my catharsis. (Knowledge of the Book of Job isn't actually necessary to understand the chapter, however it may be useful to know that the name Job is pronounced with a long "o" as if you're saying the name Joe and adding a "b" at the end)
> 
> Than you again for all your love and comments! I'm still catching up on replying, but I appreciate every single note that comes into my inbox! Y'all are great.

It wasn’t the first time in his existence that Crowley had been dragged to the throne room. It  _ was,  _ however, the first time he’d wound up kneeling before the Prince of Hell and thanking the stars that he’d never actually wound up babysitting for Lilith. 

“Lord Beelzebub,” he said with an incline of his head, trying to ignore the cold sweats that were bound to make his robes stick to him in all sorts of uncomfortable ways. He could see Lilith lounging on a nearby chaise in his peripheral vision, her dark eyes piercing. 

For a moment, Crowley couldn’t staring. This was not the Lilith he knew - the one with messy hair and wild eyes and rumpled skirts who cackled gleefully at every one of his misfortunes. This Lilith was regal, her back straight and her lips pressed into a thin, disapproving line Her gown glittered dimly, reflecting infernal fire from somewhere, though Crowley couldn’t be sure where.

He ducked his head. They hadn’t spoken since The Flood. There was little of his friend in her gaze.

“Crawly,” Beelzebub said, breaking through his reverie. “Do you know why you’ve been summoned?”

Frankly, he suspected it was because Lilith wanted to see him squirm a bit. He didn’t dare say that out loud, though. “Er. I’m receiving a commendation?”

“No.”

Crowley felt a bead of sweat drip down the back of his neck. “Oh.” He hesitated, sparing a glance at Lilith. She had her chin cupped in her palm, looking curious. “I’m being punished then.”

Beelzebub made a sound that could best be described as buzzing but was probably frustration. “No. We just want answers.”

Crowley’s mood lightened and he exhaled in relief. He was better with the question part, but answers? He could do that. “What about, my Lord?”

Lilith was the one who responded. Her heels clicked against the damp concrete as she strolled toward him until she was close enough that she could rest her hand in his hair. Crowley winced. She frowned down at him. “What the  _ fuck _ was that Job shit about?”

_ Oh _ . Shit. “Was that, er, supposed to be one of ours?” he asked, because he didn’t know the outcome yet, but taking the credit for it would do wonders for his employment status - granted, of course, that it went well. “Because I assumed it was. Helped nudge it all along, really. Played an integral part in the operation.”

Beelzebub frowned and looked at zir mother. “Well. That’s good, then, isn’t it?”

Lilith sighed and clicked her tongue. “No, sweetheart, he’s lying through his teeth. Job is still just as  _ righteous _ .” She snarled the last word.

Well, crap. He must’ve missed that bit what with the last few weeks of discovering Egyptian wine. Crowley had forgotten how well Lilith could read him. “Up,” she ordered and hauled him to his feet with a fist in his hair. 

“Ow ow ow  _ ow _ , Lil,” he hissed, forgetting himself in the pain. “Use your  _ words _ , I would’ve just  _ stood _ .”

“ZeeBee, dear,” Lilith said as she strolled forward, dragging him along. He tripped trying to keep up. “Go fetch your sibling. I’m going to handle this one.”

Beelzebub nodded once and rose to zir feet just as Lilith threw Crowley back to the ground. “Say goodbye, Crawly,” she singsonged.

This, Crowley knew how to do. He shifted himself back onto his knees and bent until his forehead touched the filthy floor.  _ Ergh.  _ What he did for job stability. “It has been an honor, Lord Beelzebub.”

Beelzebub coughed and stalked out of the room without a word.

Lilith swung into the throne, her gown draping onto the tiles even with one leg strewn over the arm. She looked beautiful, as always, and Crowley wondered not for the first time if the Almighty had messed up by starting over with women. “Be honest,” she said, and the facade somehow cracked. In one movement, Lilith pulled her hair out of its neat bun and let it tumble over her shoulders. “Ze needs some work, doesn’t ze?”

“If I say no, she’s perfect, am I allowed to get up?”

Lilith sighed dramatically. “I  _ suppose _ . I see you’ve finally learned how to act right. I like the lying, it suits you.”

Crowley uncurled himself from the fetal position and sprawled across the floor, stretching out until he felt a delicious  _ pop  _ in his joints. “‘S mostly self-preservation,” he admitted. “Didn’t feel like spending the next year in a pit of lava. Had enough of that after the Flood. Thanks for that, by the way.” He hesitated. “You look good, Lil.”

“Oh, don’t try to compliment me,” she snapped. “I’m still annoyed at you.”

He rubbed his scalp and winced. “I know.”

“You should apologize, you know. I’m the mother of the Prince of Hell.”

Crowley mulled that over. She was right, unfortunately. She had the power to make his existence  _ especially  _ uncomfortable.

On the other hand, she’d  _ always  _ held that power over him - a terrible side effect of being stuck together for so many decades - and he  _ did  _ have some pride left in him despite the recent show of groveling. “Whoever is messing about with Job is a nasty bit of work,” he said instead. “Are you  _ sure  _ that’s not us?”

“Positive,” Lilith said and swirled her hand through the air to conjure a goblet. “But it should have been  _ easy  _ for you to swoop in, sow some seeds of dissent, get the man drunk in his grief and throw in a little bitterness, prompt some pointed questions - for fuck’s sake, Crowley, that’s your entire personality. He should have been  _ ours. _ There has to be consequences for the oversight.”

“Oh, so it’s Crowley again?” he sniped. She replied by conjuring a goblet into his hand. He set it down gently beside him and continued. “I didn’t think I  _ needed _ to help. He was asking questions  _ without  _ me.  _ You  _ didn’t need me to get sent to Hell. He’s just  _ weird  _ \- he’s okay with not getting an answer.”

“Idiot,” Lilith muttered.

Crowley didn’t disagree. “I overheard him saying something about the -  _ blerg  _ \- ineffability of the universe or something? Don’t know where he got that from.” He covered up his lie with a long sip from the goblet, letting the sweet wine rest on his tongue until it turned bitter. “Surprisingly good stuff down here.”

“I have it imported,” Lilith explained distractedly, but she had a wicked glint in her eyes and Crowley would have been nervous if he wasn’t so damn  _ relieved  _ that the tension had fizzled out between the two of them. “Tell me, Crowley. How is Aziraphale doing?”

And there went that relief. Crowley downed his drink in one gulp. “Is that the angel’s name?” he asked, annoyingly aware that his voice had pitched itself at least an octave higher. “Haven’t seen him lately. Must be busy with - Heavenly duties and - spreading love and cheer and - being a goddamn condescending  _ prick _ and -”

“ _ Crowley. _ ”

"I don’t know him.”

“It’s just,” Lilith said, swirling her wine casually, “that you mentioned  _ ineffability. _ ”

“Hmm. Do you have any more of this stuff?” He held out his goblet in supplication and prayed to  _ someone  _ that she’d shut up. 

Some things really never did change.

Lilith snapped and the cup refilled. “I’ve never heard anyone on Earth talk about ineffability. Well, except when you talk about your angel.”

“Not mine,” Crowley mumbled. “I didn’t think you did much talking in your line of work.” He could feel the heat in his cheeks and  _ this was so not worth his human form.  _

Lilith bit back a smile. “Your jobs are to thwart each other, are they not?”

“I don’t like where this is going.”

“And -  _ clearly _ , no offense, but you literally just lost Hell a man who had everything taken from him by the Almighty, Job was an  _ easy  _ target - you’re kind of terrible at it. He’s  _ always  _ distracting you. He always wins.”

Crowley had to concede to that. Aziraphale would claim it was part of the ineffable plan for good to always triumph, but he had a feeling that Lilith wouldn’t accept that as an excuse. He raised an eyebrow and took a gulp to brace himself. “Continue.”

Lilith regarded him for a moment. “Have you fucked him yet? Even once?”

Crowley almost dropped his wine. “ _ No _ !”

“Kissed? Held hands? Gazed longingly into each others’ eyes?”

Crowley was reconsidering the pit of lava. “He  _ hates _ me. I’m a demon.”

Lilith shrugged. “Hate sex is great and, frankly, you could  _ use  _ it.” She knocked back her wine and wrinkled her nose. “I’d offer myself but…” She gestured vaguely toward him as if that explained everything. 

“I’m not  _ fucking _ Aziraphale,” Crowley declared. The word felt strange in his mouth, too harsh and not at all applicable to himself. He hoped his resolve sounded firm, because he could feel even his  _ ears  _ turning pink. “I don’t - my feelings toward him are - we’re  _ Adversaries _ .”

Lilith shrugged. “Exactly. Feelings’ve got nothing to do with it - he’d be distracted and  _ boom! _ ” She snapped and the goblets disappeared. “We get a few more souls in Hell, you stop sucking at your job, _ and  _ you get laid. It’s a win-win situation.” 

“I’m not - he’s a - we -“ Crowley spluttered nonsensically for a moment. “He’s an  _ angel _ .”

“Good point,” she mused. “Get you a promotion, too, I bet.” 

Crowley hissed and buried his head in his arms, defeated. “Is this my punishment for screwing up the Job job?” he mumbled into the floor. “Because it’s effective.”

“Just a happy side effect,” Lilith said cheerily. “Tell you what, Crowley. I’ll cut you a deal.”

“Whatever. Fine. Go. Shoot,” Crowley said, still with his face smushed into the tiles. He was ready for this to be over. “Shoot  _ me _ , actually.”

Lilith continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “You secure - hm... Ten souls in the next century? Yes, ten. And we can forget you were ever in the proximity of this Job mishap.”

Ten souls wasn’t too bad. A bit of a workout for him, sure, but he’d been lazy lately. He propped himself up again, frowning. “The catch?”

Lilith’s lips quirked. “I’m coming back to Earth to keep a closer eye on you.”

Crowley  _ knew  _ he should be anxious, maybe dismayed, that he was gaining a babysitter, but he’d spent the last handful of years watching the stars alone, ignoring the ache in his chest, and devising more and more convoluted excuses to see Aziraphale. It was beginning to get  _ pathetic _ . He could do with a friend again.

So, in the end, all he could do was laugh and summon another bottle of wine. Lilith clinked her glass with his and, just for a few moments, Crowley forgot about the stars. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS, FOLKS!
> 
>  **General Notes:** For those of you unfamiliar, Job in brief: Job was a righteous man. HaShem decided to test him, teamed up with Satan to destroy the poor man's life and take everything from him - his family, his livelihood, his reputation (because people will make Assumptions when you're smited), etc. He asked a lot of questions in his grief and they were not answered, which should have made him angry and frustrated, but he didn't renounce his faith. HaShem rewarded his righteousness and faithfulness with a new farm, family, etc ~~as if that actually replaces everything Job lost but WHATEVER~~
> 
> I think Crowley would feel for the guy, tbh


	5. Sins at Sinai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demons feel too deeply. Crowley, Lilith, and Aziraphale are present at Mount Sinai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've done a bit of a time skip for the sake of eventually getting to shenanigans, so without further ado... welcome to Mount Sinai! It's a long one, too. 
> 
> **Note:** I recognize that there may be some questions especially among my goyische readers here (do I have goysiche readers for this fic?). Please feel free to drop those questions by me on Tumblr (theirdarkreturning) or in the comments! This is one of my favorite bits of Jewish story/history/etc. I did take some liberties with stuff, and also poked fun at Moses because that is my favorite thing to do 

Crowley _felt_.

It was a misconception, really, that demons were removed from utterly human emotions. In fact, they were less removed from them and more fully engulfed, fire licking up their skin and bones and souls. It was their punishment, he supposed - to feel deeply, feel strongly, feel so _painfully_ and yet have the sheer existence of those feelings dismissed with a wave of an angel’s hand.

The people milling about him did not know what he was, but he knew they could sense it. They shuffled their feet in the sand and pulled their children away, packing in tighter and tighter until he was left alone at the back of the crowd. They did not know he could feel.

Most of the time, emotions were easy enough to tamp down. A joke, a temptation, a glass of good wine - all of it curled up like a well-fed boa constrictor inside his gut, heavy but sleep-addled and harmless. Today, though, he felt so strongly that it might choke him.

 _Jealousy._ That was the feeling that had curled up into his chest as he stared up at the mountain, its peak hidden by dark and stormy clouds. It had been slowly tightening its grip for nearly eighty days now.

He wanted to flee. His skin itched and prickled to be in the presence of something so grand.

He could not bring himself to turn his heel.

Nearby, he spotted Lilith, her face betraying no anxiety. She was whispering gently to Miriam, crooning comfort and assurances and - well, probably something lewd if Miriam’s expression was anything to judge by. But then, they both smiled and Miriam pressed a kiss to Lilith’s - a _demon’s_ \- forehead and  Crowley just wished for a moment that he was even a fraction as comfortable in his existence as she.

Lilith had mastered her feelings long ago. Meanwhile, Crowley had tripped Moses on his way down from the mountain and made him drop the Almighty’s word.

He was, to be fair, _very_ jealous.

Part of him longed to sneak around the crowd, ease himself up to the peaks, eavesdrop and listen for answers - any answers. Part of him wanted to tell these people to run, that they’d never find satisfaction in their curiosity. Part of him knew they wouldn’t listen.

He was too much like them in that respect.

“ _Oh no_ , you’re here, too?”

Crowley jumped, having been lost in the vaguely torturous sensation of emotion, and turned to face Aziraphale.

Now _that_ was a different emotion and he absolutely did not have time to deal with it at the moment.

“I, erm, well,” Crowley stuttered, trying to regain his composure. He could sense Lilith peering back at him curiously and it wouldn’t do to give her fuel for fodder. “Yes. I’m here. And you?”

Aziraphale shrugged and moved closer so they stood shoulder to shoulder. Crowley closed his eyes, grateful for the veil he had borrowed from Lilith, and stifled a squeak - he thought for a moment that he would be discorporated from the humiliation alone. This, of course, caught Lilith’s attention. He watched her warily as she bent to Miriam’s ear with a soft grin but wicked eyes.  

“-and so, anyway, I was in the area!” Aziraphale had been talking for a solid minute, but Crowley honestly heard none of it. “What a coincidence that we’re both here. There are rumors that the Almighty is going to do something spectacular.”

Crowley swallowed hard. “Yes, I’ve heard that, too.”

Aziraphale looked at him ponderously. “Oh dear. Have you come to interfere? Because, Crawly, these people have been through quite enough without your dilly-dallying in their business with the Almighty and, frankly, I don’t think She would tolerate it for a second! You ought to be ashamed of yourself, I really did - well, not that I thought _well_ of you, you’re a _demon_ , but -“

“Angel,” Crowley snapped. “Do shut up before you say something stupid in front of the Lord.”

Aziraphale fell silent, chastised.

Lilith was kissing Miriam’s neck softly from behind, arms curled around her waist as she held her close. It wasn’t a sexual moment, no - it was intimate and soothing and comforting and jealousy was rearing back again to swallow him up.

Crowley felt guilty for snapping. He always did, of course, but this time was specific at least. “I’ve been following these people for generations, Aziraphale,” he said in lieu of an apology, _feeling_ anger surge in its place. That was how he handled his emotions - replacing them with another that would make people go away. “We were both there at the Flood -“

“Well, yes, but -“

“I was there when the Almighty asked Yitzhak’s father to bring a knife to his throat. I was there when Ya’akov tricked his brother and was cast out and bested an angel.” Crowley took a deep, shuddering breath. He had liked Ya’akov. He had sort of hoped that Aziraphale has been the angel he beat, just for the opportunity to rub it in his face, but no such luck. “I was there when  _his_ sons tricked _t_ _heir_ brother and sold him and then begged for his mercy when he found something better. And I was there when all of that went to shit anyway and now we’re here, in the fucking desert.”

Aziraphale frowned. “Well, yes, but aren’t you pleased about that? And - I’m sorry, did you say we? As in you are part of them?”

Crowley ignored him, too caught up in the rage that burned in his stomach. “I knew Avraham and Sarah and Hagar, and we talked about the stars - did you know that the Almighty promised them as many descendants as the stars? I created those stars, angel!” He whipped the veil from his eyes and turned to face the angel. “Did you know I created those stars?”

Aziraphale’s mouth quirked into a frown. “I had no idea these people were so special to you, Crawly. I’m sorry I suggested otherwise,” he said softly.

 _Pity_ , Crowley thought, and wanted to scream. Instead, he said, “And now _Moses_ gets to speak with Her directly, this man who has done nothing but be lucky to be born and _survive_ -“

“You don’t think he’s done great things?”

“Of _course_ he’s done great things, angel! But he hasn’t exactly done them on his own! Why should he get to be the sole audience?” He searched for Aaron in the crowd, but the man was swallowed up by the masses. He gritted his teeth and let some of his anger seep out. “I tripped him, you know. About forty days ago.”

To his disbelief, Aziraphale laughed. “Oh, I had _hoped_ that was you. It was very funny, I’ll give you that.” He bumped Crowley’s shoulder gently. “But be kind this time? I’d like to hear what the Almighty has to say after all this time. Aaron will help him, do you think?”

Crowley shrugged. “I don’t know. Hope so. Otherwise, I might have to trip him again.”

It was strange, really, how easy it was to burst into giggles with your Adversary when joking at someone else’s expense. Crowley felt the pressure in his chest ease as he and Aziraphale held tight on one another’s shoulders and laughed.

“Can you imagine -“

“Just - _crack!_ Again!”

“He’d have to climb the whole thing a third time!”

“Three - holy - maybe you should -“

“Seven times’d be better, then, angel, wouldn’t it?”

“No, no, no, too cruel, Crawly, too cruel!”

“But can you _imagine_ -“

“No, no, Crawly, it’s too much, we’re attracting attention!”

“‘ _Almighty? Yes, well, I, er - I dropped it again. Might we go for another round?_ ’ Can you _imagine,_ angel?”

Eventually, the giggles subsided and the curious glances glanced off them and a warmth spread through the crowd unlike that of the desert heat.

“Oh,” Aziraphale said, straightening up though his cheeks remained ruddy with laughter. “ _Oh_ , can you feel that too, Crawly?”

Crowley wanted to roll his eyes and snap back, but he did feel it - warm and prickly and buzzing like lightning has struck. His breath caught in his throat as one brushed by - a soul.

Crowley pulled his veil back over his eyes and stepped back.

“I’m going to go say hello,” Aziraphale said quietly, all business again, all soft and _kind_ and eager. “I suppose we’ll cross paths again.”

“I suppose,” Crowley echoed. “Farewell, angel.”

Aziraphale smiled at him. “Farewell, Crawly.”

Whereas people instinctively flinched from Crowley, they leaned in toward Aziraphale, seeking out his presence as he wove himself through the crowd. He watched until the angel disappeared.

He jumped again, this time at Lilith’s hand on his shoulder. The clouds had parted; Miriam had pushed her way to the front of the crowd to greet her brother.

“That was him, then,” she said, nodding in the general direction of the crowd. “Bit high and mighty of him to just show up here.”

“It’s all right,” Crowley murmured. “I think he belongs here, too.”

Lilith twisted her lips into a frown. “If you say so…” She clucked her tongue. “He called you _Crawly_.”

Crowley coughed. “Did he?” he squeaked. He'd hoped she wouldn't notice. 

She smacked his shoulder so hard it stung. “You bastard! You changed your name literal _ages_ ago! Haven’t you told him?”

“Didn’t seem relevant,” Crowley mumbled, wanting nothing more than this conversation to be over with. He could see a figure beginning to descend from the peak. “We’re not _friends_.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Crowley, you’re useless.” Lilith shook her head in despair. “How will you manage to get laid if he doesn’t even know what to yell when he comes?”

“ _Lilith_ ,” Crowley hissed. He was very grateful that he had donned a veil. “We’re - this is - a holy spot!”

She snorted. “Like you _care_. And it’s not holy yet, he’s not done climbing. Real reasons only, please.”

“Be quiet, Lil.” He cast his eyes around, almost crumpling in relief when he spotted Aziraphale fully engaged in conversation with a few bundles of souls at least fifty meters away. “He might _hear_ you.”

Lilith’s grin grew. “Oh. I see. You don’t want him to _hear_ us. Embarrassed?”

“ _No_ , Lilith, I’m perfectly comfortable with you telling an angel I’d like him to fuck me!” Crowley whispered, the heat rising in his cheeks. “ _Yes, I’m bloody embarrassed._ ”

Sometimes, he forgot that Lilith had fangs just like he did - a side effect of being the closest demon she had to model her young self on, truly - so even he felt chills go down his spine when she grinned and bared them. “Now _that’s_ news,” she murmured. “You’ve never mentioned wanting that before. Well, not in so many words.”

“He’s almost here with the tablets, Lil, can we save this for later?” Crowley pleaded. “Please?”

Moses was indeed almost ready to present the tablets, the clay slabs held high above his head with muscled arms. The crowd drew closer.

“I should meet this angel who’s stolen your heart,” Lilith mused out loud. “He’s here - perfect timing, really.”

“ _Lilith_ ,” Crowley said in warning. He was dizzy - with the buzzing of the souls, with the proximity of the angel, with the weight of the moment, with _feeling_. “You’re not speaking with Aziraphale. I won’t allow it. He’s too good for us and this isn’t the time.”

Lilith stared at him for a long while, her black eyes curiously bright, and then pressed her lips into a straight line and nodded once. She took him by the wrist and tugged him toward the crowd. “Fair enough. C’mon, let’s go closer and hear what Wonder Boy has to say to us.”

* * *

 Later that night, they laid among the clouds that lined the desert floor.

“Feel any different?” Lilith asked. Crowley shrugged.

“I’ve always been among these people,” he said. “Don’t need the Almighty to tell me where I belong.”

“No,” she agreed. “You never did.” She paused. “You going to follow all their rules, too?”

Crowley turned to face her. He had ditched the veil once the humans retired, their bodies and minds exhausted from the hours of celebration. He was tired, too, but it was different. It couldn’t be helped by sleep. “As best as a demon can,” he said seriously. He knew that it would be impossible to follow them all, and maybe it was pointless being what he was - but there was a chance, he thought, that maybe it could be worth something one day. “Are you?”

Lilith nodded. “As best as a demon can,” she echoed. She hesitated, breath catching, as if she wasn’t sure she should continue. “I heard some of your conversation with Aziraphale. You said something about the stars.”

“Hmm,” Crowley said. “There are a lot of them.”

“And there were a lot of us today,” Lilith said. It sounded like it was meant to be some sort of compliment, but Lil was never good at giving those.

Crowley wasn’t any better at taking them. He shoved her with his shoulder. “What’s your point?”

“My point,” she said, shoving back, “is that there’s no way that haughty son of a bitch angel is too good for you.”

“Lil -“

“He may have been shaking hands with every soul in attendance, but you were there, too. We were all meant to be there."

Crowley sighed. “He doesn’t know any better. He’s an _angel_. He thinks - they tell him things about us.”

“Yeah, well,” Lilith said and pulled herself to her feet, dusting off dew from her skirt. “From what I’ve seen, being an angel isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

Crowley hissed.

“I’m heading to bed,” she said with a yawn. “Miriam is probably waiting up.”

Crowley raised his eyebrows. “No need to fake yawn. I know what you get up to in bed.”

Lilith shook her head. “No, no. Just sleep tonight.”

“Settling down for a bit?” Crowley asked in surprise. “You haven’t done that since -“

“Leah.” Lilith swept her hair out of her eyes and picked up Crowley’s discarded veil. She slipped it over her eyes. “I know.” She held out a hand for him, waiting for him to take it.

Crowley shook his head. “I’m not tired tonight. Feel sort of… buzzy.”

Lilith nodded and let her hand fall to her side. She knew too well how his head sometimes swirled. It was a lucky thing that he merely _liked_ sleep and didn’t _need_ it.

“For what it’s worth, I heard you laughing,” she said quietly. “And I don’t reckon he thinks he’s too good for you.”

Crowley pointedly looked away.

Lilith didn’t say goodnight - she never did - but a soft _whoosh_ of clouds parting announced her departure.

Crowley fell asleep under the stars, thinking about how for just a few moments at the base of the mountain, it had felt like he was among them again.             

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **General Notes** : I know told some of you that Az wouldn't play a large role in this fic. I do mean that, but this scene just felt right. I also realized that I accidentally changed Crowley's name super super early by accident so here you have my quick fix.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Please drop me a line and tell me what you think - I die for it. Thanks for reading! 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear from y'all. You can find me screaming about this on Tumblr at theirdarkreturning :) Come shoot me an ask about my girl Lil anytime.


End file.
